N.B. Some events may be regarded as transgressing more than one methodological principle.
For a number of decades now, considerable controversy has surrounded a well-known theory of melody developed by Dr. Hoch of the Music Department at Poxford College. The theory relates people's heights to music.
Dr. Hoch formed the theory while doing research in the Congo. Hoch discovered that Pygmys sing melodies containing predominantly small intervals, whereas Bantu's sing melodies containing much larger intervals. In Hoch's first book, Pitch Reduction in Congolese Pygmy Melody, Hoch noted "This is evidence for my new theory that interval size is proportional to the heights of the people who make the music." [1]
Hoch's arch rival, Dr. Klein, has noted that Hoch's theory is suspect because the theory originates in the Egyptian Book of the Dead, where an obscure verse is often translated: "Big people make big music." [2]
Professor Ruse, one of Hoch's defenders, has countered that Dr. Klein's own views are suspect since Klein has admitted to having taken illegal drugs in the 1960s and holds a degree from Golly College (which is not even rated by the Pricetown Review). [3]
Klein notes that, if only Hoch and Ruse could see Klein's as-yet-unpublished data from Belize, they would see the error of their ways. [4] Dr. Wise points out that considerable pertinent data is available at the Smithsonian, if only Hoch and Klein would care to examine it. [5]
As might be expected, Hoch's theory has attracted considerable popular attention. An editorial writer for the Lower Arlington Snob has started a crusade:
"Given that the national anthem contains so many large leaps, it is obvious that the [short] children in our kindergartens should not be singing it." [6]
On the contrary, the OSU basketball Buckeyes coach has realized that the correlation between large melodic intervals and size is the perfect way to increase players' heights. This year, Swiss yodeling has become a standard part of team practice. [7]
In order to resolve the question of whether yodeling causes increased height, Dr. D. Velop decided to compare the melodies sung by people at different ages. Dr. Velop randomly sampled 900 people -- 150 each at the ages of 2, 5, 8, 10, 16, and 25. Dr. Velop found that it is indeed the case that the older (taller) people sing melodies with wider intervals. However, many of the older participants in the study noted that yodeling was especially popular 10 years ago. [8]
In Hoch's second book, Swedish Swing, Hoch reported on a replication study carried out in Sweden (where people are typically tall). Hoch found that the average interval size for Swedish melodies was 240 cents -- which, he says, "only goes to prove my point." [9]
The ever-suspicious Dr. Klein decided to study the Inuit of Greenland (who are somewhat short). Klein didn't find that Inuit melodies had smaller intervals compared with Bantus. Nor did Dr. Klein find evidence in support of another 31 popular hypotheses about melodic organization. But Klein did find a statistically significant (p<0.05) result that Inuit melodies have slighly more notes per phrase than for Bantu melodies. [10] After spending time carefully examining the data, Klein also thought there was some evidence suggesting that Inuit singers take slightly longer to inhale while singing. A formal test of this hypothesis using Klein's existing data showed that indeed, on average, Inuit singers took 15 milliseconds longer to inhale than Bantu singers and this was significant at p<0.05. [11] [12]
Motivated by the controversy, Prof. Long carried out a 30-year experiment in rural Bolivia. Dr. Long recruited 1,255 children in 28 orphanages. Each orphanage was randomly assigned to either a "small interval" or "large interval" group. The children in the "small interval" orphanages were taught folk melodies with predominantly small intervals while children in the "large interval" orphanages were taught folk melodies with predominantly large intervals. Children had no access to radio or television. Keeping detailed records of the children's heights, Dr. Long found that there was no systematic difference in the rates of growth and no difference in the absolute heights between the two groups.
Dr. Hoch was naturally displeased by the study, and has suggested that the reason why Dr. Long failed to find the effect was because of possible differences in diets between the various orphanages. Hoch pointed out that some of the orphanages in Long's study are known to be located in mountainous areas where diets are less nutritious. [13]
A more serious problem with Dr. Long's study was that mid-way through the study, Bolivia changed to the metric system, so the numerical records are an indecipherable mixture of inches and centimeters. [14]
Dr. Bliss has questioned the use of either inches or centimeters for measuring height:
"We all know what height is, and it is only crudely related to such reductionistic measures as "yards" or "meters"."Given the origin of the theory in the Egyptian Book of the Dead, Bliss thinks cubits would be a more appropriate (though not infallible) measure of height. But Bliss thinks even this is impossible since no one can be sure how long a cubit is. [15]
One group that was pleased with Long's study was the orphanage operators -- since the researchers brought funds to support the children's education. This income was a welcome supplement to selling the shorter orphans to the North Korean submarine program and the taller orphans to OSU basketball Buckeyes. [16]
The Journal of Musicological Musings decided not to publish Dr. Long's study because the results didn't support any widely accepted theory of melody. [17] As it turns out, a number of other scholars have independently produced negative results. But each of these scholars has been reluctant to even submit the results of their research. [18]
Dr. Hoch thinks there is enough research already, and there is no need for further testing of this well-established and obvious theory. [19] Hoch notes that Stravinsky once said of Ravel "Il est trés petit, non?" -- and does anyone doubt that Stravinsky uses wider intervals than Ravel? [20]
Dr. Hoch has also noted that no less a musicologist than Sir Percy Smart has stated that the matter is now resolved. [21] However, Prof. Bliss remains skeptical. Says Bliss, "It is pure folley to expect such a simple theory to apply to all of the world's cultures." [22]
By contrast, Dr. Pomo has argued that this whole business is part of an upper-class conspiracy to denigrate short people. Yodeling has become an entrenched canon whereas chanting is now widely desparaged as "music for little people." Paid programing on cable TV frequently shows vertically-challenged people engaged in IQ-demeaning activities while Gregorian chant plays in the background. Short people find that everyone expects them to like "The Monks of Saint Bede". [23]
Dr. Pomo says that no music is any better or worse than any other music. "We all know that no theory can be conclusively shown to be better than any other theory. It simply doesn't matter whether the height/melodic-interval theory is true or false." [24]
[1] double-use data
[2] discovery fallacy
[3] ad hominen argument
[4] research hoarding
[5] data neglect
[6] naturalist fallacy
[7] correlation/causation - 3rd variable problem
[8] cohort bias or cohort effect
[9] control failure
[10] multiple tests problem
[11] post hoc hypothesis
[12] magnitude blindness
[13] ad hoc hypothesis
[14] instrument decay
[15] anti-operationalizing problem
[16] mortality problem
[17] positive results bias
[18] bottom-drawer effect
[19] head-in-the-sand syndrome
[20] confirmation bias
[21] ipse dixit
[22] universalist phobia
[23] presumptive representation
[24] relativist fallacy